Don't Let Me Down
by hetalia27
Summary: Clare had the perfect life. She was happy. But everything changed with her mother and father got divorced. Throw in a new husband and a stepbrother; add a little new town and you get Clare's new hectic life. Add in a boy and the mixture gets even crazier. Can our hero withstand the pressure, or is everything going to crumble like a Crum cake? Join us and find out! AU.
1. You Won't See Me

**You Won't See Me**

**A/N: **Hey guys! It's me and I'm back with a new Eclare fic! It's an AU and I just, have no clue what I'm doing with this one. Pfft—hopefully it won't be bad and whatever and just, go with me. Anyways, let's hope everything comes out okay.

**A/N:** On another note, this is my first time writing a story in first person in a long time so bear with me. I know that's kinda funny to say after my first Eclare story being a first person one. But I wrote that a long time ago and now I'm more into the third person. But rambling aside, as of now the point of view will always be Clare's, but I might change it if I get a random inspiration to write in a different point of view.

**SUMMARY: **Clare had the perfect life. She was happy the way it was. But everything changed with her mother and father got divorced. Throw in a new husband and a stepbrother; add a little new town and you get Clare's new hectic life. Add in a boy and the mixture gets even crazier. Can our hero withstand the pressure, or is everything going to crumble like a Crum cake? Join us and find out! AU.

* * *

I guess it all started with two words, this chapter of my life. Those unfortunate words being the two I dreaded most for the longest time.

'I do.'

I do can stand for a lot of things. Mostly because a person can say I do in many different situations, kind of like going to Yale. Of course I want to go to Yale, I really do.

I and do are two words. The word I represents a person and it's a possessive word, it stands for their thoughts, their likes, their anything depending on the sentence. Do is a word a verb that stands for someone or something about to perform a task.

When you say the words dressed in a white gown in a church with a man—or woman depending on your sexuality because I could honestly care less, in a black tux it normally means you're about to spend the rest of your life with said person.

I use the term 'rest of your life' loosely.

Okay, so by now you may think I'm either cynical or depressed or something, but that is not true. I promise, just a bit bitter, but that can't always be helped.

My name is Clare Edwards; I just turned 16 back in March. I come from a very religious Christian background, but not a stuck up one really, in which I learned many moral rules. Sex before marriage is never right. Violence is never the way; you should just turn the other cheek.

One thing my mother always taught me that I strongly believed in was that divorce was always frowned upon. Us church going Edwards spent every Sunday at church, good clothes on, singing and praying.

I guess all our hard work was put to waste that second my mother and father sat me down and told me they were getting their divorce. I cried about it for days, I rationalized it being my fault; I called my sister in Kenya. Darcy was always the lucky, prettier one out of the two of us. She was outgoing, fun, easygoing and easy to get along with. When she told us she was going to Africa to help the people out there, we were all shocked and happy all the same.

She was lucky she didn't have to be here going through this. She was building houses in Kenya laughing away her troubles with good deeds. But me, I was stuck here in the aftershock of the news, blaming myself. But could you really blame me? Everything I was taught was crumbling to pieces.

But hearing those two words come out of my mother's mouth, it was like I was getting hit by a car going sixty miles per hour.

My now stepdad, Glen, wasn't really that bad. He was nice, he treated me kindly and he really loved my mother. My now stepbrother Jake was a good guy too. My mother really liked him, he was kind to me and I guess I would consider him a friend if I wasn't so bitter at the world.

But is it so bad of me to think the only time I would be standing at an altar like I was only a few hours ago would either be at a friend's wedding, or my own?

Then again I didn't really believe that either. I didn't have friends; I had a book and a cup of tea. Now, once again don't get me wrong, I'm not a loner or antisocial, okay maybe a little bit of the latter. I had acquaintances, I just never found people I would want to spend my time without side of my family. They were all just, not to sound snotty, but none of them could really get on the same academic level.

I was the girl that talked about Sylvia Plath, Edger Alan Poe and a bunch of other depressed writers that most likely committed suicide. I was the girl with a book that was probably a dinosaur with language only people from the 1900s could understand, in a thrift store dress. Everybody in the small town I lived in was either a sports head, or just not interested in the same things as I was, and it never bothered me. I wasn't lonely.

But standing here in a bridesmaids dress watching as my mother and now stepfather said their toasts, I never felt lonelier in my life. It wasn't even this bad when my mother and father got divorced, because I knew they always loved me.

Staring at everyone's smiling face with a pseud smile plastered on my face; it felt like everything was real for the first time. My parents were never getting back together. Every value my mother had taught me was slowly sliding away and I felt like I was breaking.

* * *

"Clare. Sweetie, are you awake?" My mom cooed, I stirred and looked at her from my seat in Jake's pickup. Sighing with my eyes half lidded from drowsiness, I smiled and nodded at her.

"Yeah." I said sleepily as I opened the door of the pickup and slowly slid myself out. Jake and Glen had already begun moving the boxes inside our new house.

With the new marriage came the new surroundings, my mother thought it'd be better if we moved into a bigger house in the city where Glen's construction company was. I didn't complain, as much as I hated all the new changes I wanted my mother to be happy.

Letting out a hearty tired sigh, I smiled at my mom, grabbed some boxes of mine out of Jake's pickup and began taking them inside with the others. We assigned the rooms from the blue prints of the house before we moved. I got offered the second biggest room out of the four rooms in the new house, but I declined. Giving me that space was my mother's way of saying, "Hey sport. I'm sorry I poured all this on you, but I'm sure you'll be as happy as me sooner or later", but I wasn't heartless. I wanted her to be happy.

Taking the smallest room was my own way of comfort. If it was smaller it was more personal. Soon we trekked all the boxes in, joking and laughing the three members of the Martins family happily moved in. Me, on the other hand just watched from the sidelines. I didn't want to ruin everything, because it was a beautiful picture. I just didn't feel like I belonged in it.

"Clare, do you need help unpacking?" My mother asked me as she walked into my room. I smiled at her and shook my head.

"No mom, I think I've got it. Jake and Glen set up my furniture already so I just need to put things away. You and Glen have a lot of work to do getting the rest of the house ready anyways, so don't worry about me." I smiled at my mother as she shook her head in understanding. I think this was another way of her giving me space and letting everything sink in. I was a lot more distant to her, but that was normal wasn't it? My parent's divorce, my mother's remarriage; I got no say in the matter so it wasn't like my feelings were accounted for. It was the least she could do.

Putting the last book into my bookcase, and hanging my last dress, I stepped to the door of my room and looked inside. Everything was how I wanted it and as close as it would be to perfect. I was content enough here with my mother and Glen and Jake. None of them were bad people; I was just the unneeded variable in the equation that was the Martins-Edwards family.

Stepping out of my room with empty boxes I walked up to my mom who was unpacking things for the living room. Walking up to her I kissed her on the cheek.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked her lightly, she looked at me half shocked and half happy.

"I know that, Clare. I love you too." She said softly as she wrapped one arm around me and gave me a half hug. "Now, if only these boxes could love me and unpack themselves."

"I think we'd all be happy about that one, Helen." Glen laughed as he walked into the living room with more boxes.

"I think there's enough cardboard here to make the same number of houses Darcy has already made in Kenya." I said huffing a bit. My mother looked at me and Glen let out a laugh.

"Imagine." He said ruffling my hair a bit, rolling my eyes at the childish act I shook my head.

"I'm done with my room; do you want some help around here?" I asked my mother who just shook her head.

"No, why don't you and Jake go explore the neighborhood. I saw a nice looking book shop on the way I'm sure you'd love." My mother said, before I could deny the request Jake half ran into the room.

"Yes! Let's go, Clare." Jake said, smiling and letting out a small laugh I let him pull me to the door, car keys in hand. Stopping I looked back into the house from the door. Tilting my head I let out another sigh.

I could get used to it here, it didn't seem that bad.

"You can let out your happiness in my car, _let's go_." Jake said from outside impatiently.

"I am not letting out my happiness. Sighing is not losing happiness. I am happy." And for the first time in a long time, I wasn't lying.

* * *

**A/N:** So that's all for now folks! If you haven't noticed yet, the title of the story and chapter are both Beatles songs! That and: I do not own Degrassi or The Beatles' songs. I hope you enjoyed, drop a reply below if you got time, comments, questions or suggestions!

I would also like to thank my Beta-in-training Sidney for looking over the chapter!


	2. She's Got Style

**She's Got Style**

**A/N:** Wow! I want to thank everyone for the follows and the reviews. I'm going to let you know, for once I have up to chapter 10 planned out and it's just waiting to be typed. I'm going to attempt to get a chapter out every 1-3 days so bear with me if I just suddenly stop. I might just be feelings a bit uninspired! Thanks for the feedback!

* * *

"Hey, baby won't you look my way? I could be your new addiction!" I sang along with the radio, swaying along with the music.

"Hey, baby what you gotta say, what you're giving me is fiction!" Jake sang along tapping his fingers on his steering wheel.

"I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time. I found out that everybody talks, everybody talks." I sang giving Jake a face like the song was about our lives. Jake looked at me and let a slight shrug fall on his shoulders as he gave me a smile.

"I would have never guessed you'd like music like this." Jake commented turning the music down a bit, I smiled and leaned a bit towards the window.

"It's happy. Like spring time." I said looking out the window at the passing scenery.

"I guess it is." He commented focusing back on the road to where we were going. As we came to a slightly busy area with tons of shops, Jake found parking and we got out of his car.

"Oh look! They that must be the book store my mom was telling me about." I said as I spotted a small store across the street with a big sign, 'Berns and Son's books'.

"Yeah, well, while you go have fun being weird in there, I'm going to check out the camping gear in that store." Jake said as he gave me a smile and pushed off. "I'll come find you at the book store later."

Shrugging with a roll of my eyes, I crossed the street and entered the smaller book store. It smelt like old parchment mixed with newer parchment. There were rows of books bolted down and piles everywhere. Some parts were colorful with newer works, and then there were the brown and black books which were more my style.

I walked towards a pile of intoxicating books on one of the rolling shelves. Looking through it intently, I moved over to one of the bookshelves. Leaning in, I let my fingers brush the spines of the books. It was an intimate process for me, picking out a new book wasn't just out of interest; it was out of mutual affection towards the reader and the writer.

As my eyes fell on a book, I smiled as I saw the author. Chuck Palahniuk. It was some of his older works that I'd always wanted to get a chance to read, but never could find. Taking it into my hands, my grin grew as I opened the book, seeing the little tears and signs of aging made it better.

"Can I help you?" A voice from above me said, looking up I found myself staring at a pair of dazzling green eyes that almost shone like an emerald in the sunlight. Swallowing lightly and letting my mouth hang a gap, I looked at the black haired boy who was apparently taller than the six foot bookshelf. "You have pretty eyes."

"I, uh, got laser surgery a couple of weeks ago." I said before I had the chance to think about what I was saying. Biting my lips and letting out a sigh, I looked down at the book in my hands and back up to see the boy gone.

"I'm right here." He said jetting around the bookshelf, "I'm not that tall." Almost as if he read my thoughts from before, letting out a halfhearted laugh, I tilted my head.

"Who is?" I asked, pulling the book a bit closer to me. "So you work here?"

"Basketball players?" He said in a half reply to my previous question. "Do you want me to ring that up for you?"

"Uh, yeah if you would." I smiled, handing the other the book over to him as he went around the counter.

"Chuck Palahniuk, huh? He's one of my favorites." The boy said as he punched numbers into the cash register. Hearing the ding he looked up and smiled at me, "That'll be—"

"Eli! Are you working behind the desk again? How many times do I have to tell you, you _don't_ work here?" An older gentleman said as he came from a back room and took a place next to the green eyed boy. Smiling, I raised an eyebrow.

"Ah, well you see. I keep telling you to give me a job here, Bernsy old pal. I know this place like the back of my hand." He stated putting his hands back in defense. "And what was I supposed to do? Let a valuable customer stand here confused and unattended? That's bad customer service."

"You talk a mile a minute, Eli." The older gentleman stated giving the younger a small glare. "Hello there, missy. I'm Mr. Berns. You must be new here. I know most of the people in this town."

"I'm Clare. Clare Edwards. I just moved here with my family." I stated offering them a smile. "You must be the owner, and I'm assuming this isn't your son."

"No, I'm too young. I'm more like his grandson. Eli." The black haired boy smiled. "Goldsworthy, Eli."

"That's a very Jewish name." I stated unintentionally, earning a laugh from both of the males. I looked down almost shyly wishing I could hide behind a book.

"I've heard. But I'm an atheist so," Shrugging, he handed me the book in a paper bag.

"Twenty dollars, please." Eli grinned, taking the bag letting our hands brush gently; I took a twenty from the pocket of my jeans and handed it to him.

"Well, I might as well offer you a job; you make most of the sales anyways." Mr. Berns said.

"I told you, I bring in all the ladies." Eli said, he said patting his chest proudly. Letting out a small laugh, I shook my head.

"Clare, let's go." I heard Jake say before I heard the ding of the bell. Looking over to him, I gave him a nod, and then I looked back the duo in front of me.

"I guess I'll see you around." I said, biting my lower lip again, locking eyes with Eli.

"Guess you will." He said, offering me a cross between a smile and smirk. Lifting my eye brow, I walked outside and into Jakes car.

"So, who was Mister Mysteriously Fabulous?" Jake asked, I let my mouth hang partially agape and shook my head.

* * *

Walking inside the house, Jake and I were having a pointless argument over a book that we both had happened to read. Looking at the house, I stopped and shook my head. My mother and Glen had gotten a lot done, not that they were finished, but a lot was done.

Biding everyone good night after saying I'd skip dinner, I ran upstairs and changed into an old battered plaid shirt and pajama shorts. Curling into my bed, I took my new book into my hands and I thought about the day. The boy. Those green eyes that were shining so brightly even in the low light of the book store. Smiling down at my book, I opened it to the first page and began reading.

* * *

"Clare, wake up." I heard a voice say, I just huffed and turned to the side, I was too tired for this right now.

"Clare! Rise and shine, c'mon." The voice repeated, tugging on my blanket to pull it off. I just tightened my grip.

"I didn't want to have to do this." As those words left the others mouth, I opened my eyes curiously, only to find them snapping back shut.

"Oh my god! Jake, get off of me!" I yelped as Jake got on my bed and started jumping around. Turning, I ended up knocking him off his feet and to find himself falling flat on his face. Letting out a loud laugh, I got off my bed and stood on top of him. "Here lies, Jake. He could have left me alone, yet he decided to be stupid and die."

"Yeah, yeah. Get off." He said rolling to the side as I side stepped off him and helped him up. Smiling, I ran down stairs to see my mother with Glen. Still in my pajamas, I sat down at the table.

"Okay, so you two have two options. Stay home and help unpack, or go to your first day of school." My mother said, I looked at Jake and Jake looked at me. Narrowing my eyes almost telling him my thoughts, he shook his head in disagreement.

"We'll go to school!" I said hopping to my feet.

"But I don't want to." Jake half whined, I turned and glared at him.

"I don't care. Get dressed!"

* * *

"You know, if I didn't have to be your chauffer, I could have stayed home." Jake said, finding parking. We were barely making it on time seeing as how we got lost twice. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my messenger bag and slung it over my shoulder and slid out of the pickup.

"Hey, we didn't have to move here." I said in defense, and this time it was Jake's turn to roll his eyes.

Walking into the building, I realized for the first time how big it actually was. On the outside it looked like a medium sized building, but when you stepped inside it was huge. Looking at the lockers and how colorful it actually was, I smiled. The school and the students had a lot of school spirit, and that wasn't hard to tell.

"So, I'm going to go to the office and pick up our schedules, you wait here, okay?" Jake stated; I gave him a simple nod as I dug my book out of my bag. Leaning back against one of the lockers I began reading.

Allowing myself to be captured by the book, to become the main character, I slid down and sat down in a position with both my legs going to the same side. Sometimes I hated dresses because I couldn't sit the way I wanted. Three chapters more into the book, I was leaning closer blocking most of the sunlight that feel on the book.

"Hello, are you stalking me?" I heard a voice say, almost unsure if it was coming from the book or not, I looked up and remembered I was at school.

"I could ask you the same question." I said giving the other a look.

"Well, when you're sitting in front of my locker, I would say that you couldn't ask me the same." Eli said, smirking as he tugged his bag a bit closer to him.

"I guess you win this round, Goldsworthy." I said as he offered me a hand. Gratefully, I took it and he pulled me up. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Degrassi is the only high school in this part of the city." Eli stated raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, you don't look like a high school kid." I stated, putting a hand on my waist.

"Oh? Well in your defense, I am a senior. Just turned seventeen back in July." He said shrugging. Before I could get another word out the bell rang. Eli looked at me and smiled. "I guess that's my cue to go. I'll be seeing you." Eli said, pointing out the bell. Offering a small wave goodbye, he turned and went to class.

"Was that the hot guy from the bookstore?" Jake said from behind me. Jumping a little, I turned around and gave him an annoyed look.

"I'm questioning now. Are you gay?" I asked, he shrugged and gave me a thoughtful look.

"Possibly." He smiled, rolling my eyes; I playfully punched him in the arm.

"Come on, let's just get to class. Schedule." I said, holding my hand out. Jake placed the paper in my hand.

"Yes sir, miss bossy pants." Jake said, as he smiled and walked off. "See you at lunch!"

* * *

**A/N**: _AND_, SCENE. Pfft. I hope you guys enjoyed the update! Remember, reviews drop below wont take long and mean a lot! Thanks for reading!

And once again a big thank you to my Beta-In-Training Sidney. This chapter was a mess before she edited it! So thanks babe!


	3. Feels Good At First

Feels Good At First

**A/N**: Hey there. Back with another chapter and more plot bunnies telling me how I want future chapters. The plot won't pick up a lot until I get most of my introduction chapter out. Those are ones where Clare is still meeting new people, but according to my plans, by chapter 6 the plot will just set at a better pace. At least I hope! Eep.

* * *

History, it's one of the most important things for a person to learn. The past always impacts the future, whether it is for good or for bad. Some people have more of a rich history than others, but not everyone.

With history comes baggage.

Every year we learn more and more history, things we've already learned, but we see them in different ways. In a deeper way per say.

I always hated history. It wasn't my worst class, but it wasn't my best. Surely, it wasn't my favorite.

Taking my seat behind people I didn't know, keeping quiet and trying to be the least interesting thing in the world, I pulled out my binder and waited for the teacher. Biting my lip, on the top left corner I wrote my name and date to get started on taking notes.

"Hi! You must be the new girl!" Reluctantly I looked up to see where that sentence came from. Meeting my cyan gaze with the chocolaty gaze of the girl in front of me, I offered her a smile.

"Me and all the other girls in the grade nine." I said, she looked at me blankly for a minute before her sticky lip glossed lips tugged into a smile.

"Maybe. But they've surely been here longer than you. I'm sure they started in September, but here you are, new in October." The darker skinned girl stated. Letting out a small chuckle, I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm Clare. Clare Edwards. Nice to meet you." The words came out like a power drill that kept drilling the same nail over and over again.

"You too. Alli Bhandari at your service." The other girl said. as I offered her a smile and nodded. I always had more of an introvert personality.

"Alright class, let's get started." The teacher said as he walked in a few minutes late. Turning, the girl offered me a smile.

* * *

"So, Clare, what do you have next?" Alli asked, I looked at her as I was packing my binder away.

"Uh, science." I said getting my schedule out of my bag. Before I could look at it, Alli took it in her hands and scanned it. Smiling, she returned it back to me.

"We have four classes together not counting lunch." She said, smiling, urging me up. "Here, let me walk you to class."

"No offense." I said, licking my lips. "But I don't really know you. Aren't you acting a bit too friendly?"

"What? Oh. I'm sorry! I just come off that way." Alli said as she clasped her hands together and looked of the side shyly. Looking at her, I let out a small sigh and a slight frown.

"No, it's okay. You're just trying to help, right?" I said, placing my hand on hers gently before taking it back.

"Yeah, being the new girls never easy. I just wanted to be a friend." Alli said, slinging an arm around my shoulder and started leading me on. I could already feel it; she was the type of person to get what she wanted. "Anyways, you're interesting I like you."

"Don't get me wrong, but I don't really want a friend." I said, taking her arm off from around me.

"Whoa, this is where a cat fight comes in." A blonde girl said walking up to the two of us. "Hi, I'm Jenna Middleton. And please don't mind Alli. She kind of expects everyone to be her friend, so she doesn't know how to take things slow."

"No, it's okay. I'm just not used to it." I said, lacing my fingers together and biting my lip. "I've always kind of been more of a loner."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Jenna said looking at Alli with an almost stern look. "Right, Alli?"

"Right." Alli said nodding, sending me a half smile she pointed towards the classroom door. "But, I would love to get to know you. Anyways, I could at least take you to class."

Offering her a smile I nodded. "I guess it can't hurt." Maybe this was what I needed, a new environment, a new Clare. A few friends never hurt.

* * *

"Jake! I'm here." I said as I walked behind him and poked the middle of his back. Jumping a bit he looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"Do you want to send me into a premature cardiac arrest?" He asked clutching his chest.

"Who are you? My grandpa?" I asked, sitting down next to him. He had decided to eat outside at the picnic tables they placed by the schools entrance. Sitting on the opposite side of him, I shrugged. "So how's your day been so far?"

"It was alright, kind of keeping on the down low. You?" Jake asked fishing a sandwich out of his backpack and began eating.

"I wish I could keep on the down low. This girl in my first period class, Alli, I don't know why but she decided she wants to be my friend." I said shrugging as I got my thermostats out. Pouring some cauliflower soup into the cap, I took a slow sip. "She said I was interesting."

"You? _No_. That can't be true. You don't seem mysterious at all when you sit by yourself, always reading a book or just watching others pass by." Jake said shaking his head, chewing on his sandwich while he gave me a look. I raised my eyebrow and looked at him. "You are interesting, when you let people get to know you."

"Right." I said as I kept drinking my soup. "My real question is why you didn't get any offers in friendship. You're the more outgoing friendly one."

"I don't know." Jake said as he shook his head and shrugged. "I mean I talked to a few people, guess I wouldn't call us friends, just classmates."

"Again, right. Well I hope you find friends soon. I don't want to keep wasting my lunch periods on you." I said, finishing my soup and putting my thermostats away. Pulling my knees into my chest while at the same time sitting to be facing Jake on the bench, I took my book and placed it on my knees. "I prefer the company of my dead writer friends."

"You are so weird. I don't even know how to handle your crazy sometimes." Jake said as he finished his sandwich and wiped off his hands.

"Because all the same, I'm amazing." I smiled up from my book, earning a laugh from my now step brother. Shaking my head I got up as the bell rang and went to my next period class.

* * *

Absentmindedly walking to my next class as I read my book, I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going. Too intertwined in the words in front of me, I accidently felt myself walk into someone. Looking up I saw a boy in very baggy clothes and a beanie.

"I'm so sorry, I normally am better at this." I said to the other. The other just smiled and offered a small laugh.

"It's no problem. I have a friend that does it just as often. I'm Adam, nice to meet you." The boy said offering a hand out my way. Taking it, I shook it politely.

"Clare." I said as the boy tilted his head at me like he knew me from somewhere.

"As in Edwards?" He asked, I bit my lip and nodded, did I know him from somewhere and just forgot?

"You're the other junior in advanced English. That and my best friend told me a little about you." He stated, closing his mouth soon after like he said something he wasn't supposed to.

"Best friend?" I questioned. He smiled and pulled the door to the English room open.

"Eli." He said lowly. "He told me about the girl from the bookstore."

Nodding in understanding, I smiled a little as I took a seat next to him. "Yes, that would be me." Letting out a small huff and pulling out my binder I smiled at him. "Hopefully he said nothing bad."

"Oh no. Just that you were different from the people around here." Adam said, following in suit getting his own books out.

"Is that necessarily a bad thing?" I questioned quietly as the English teacher Ms. Dawes taught.

"On the contrary. It's a really good thing. Means you're interesting, you have more to offer than just a pretty smile and a head of curly brown hair." Adam stated taking down notes. Smiling, I bit my lip.

"I don't really have a pretty smile. But thanks." I said also taking notes, half paying attention to the actual lesson.

"Eli would like to disagree." Adam said looking at me and giving me a bright smile. "And so would I."

Looking at him, then shyly looking away and down at my papers, the smile on my face just didn't find its way off my face. "Well, I guess we'll just have to see how long you guys think that."

"Is that a challenge, Miss Edwards?" Adam asked smugly, I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, letting my pencil down on the papers.

"It might be." I said fighting the smile off my face.

"Miss Edwards, I know you're new here but please refrain from talking in my class. And Mister Torres, you should know better." Ms. Dawes said. Looking from Adam, back down to my paper, I kept taking notes throughout the class.

* * *

"Wait so what you're telling me now is, two people want to be your friends, Mister Mysteriously Fabulous thinks you have a pretty smile, and you voluntarily made a friend?" Jake asked as we walked towards his pickup. Looking at him, I gave him a slightly deadpanned look. "Who are you and what have you done to my sister?"

"Stepsister. " I said lightly, and opened his car door seating myself. "Anyways, why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because only a few days ago you hated everyone around you." Jake said turning the key in the ignition, making the engine roar to life.

"That is not true. I've never hated anyone in my life." I said crossing my arms and pouting slightly.

"Okay. A few days ago you hated talking to anyone. You really didn't even like talking to me, but you preferred it over Helen and my dad." Jake said giving me a side look.

"People change. Maybe it's the city." I said pulling my leg into my chest and looking out the window.

"Or maybe you're finally realizing how lonely you are." Jake shrugged. Rolling my eyes, I punched him in the arm slightly as he pulled into the drive way.

"That is not true. I've never been lonely." I said, grabbing my bag and walking in the door. "We're home!"

"Welcome back honey." My mother said walking up to us and kissing the top of my head. Walking out of her grasp, I ran to the top of the stairs.

"I'm taking a bath!" I announced as I went into the bathroom and ran the water. Realizing I forgot my book, I walked down the stairs but stopped upon hearing voices.

"Jake, can I talk to you?" My mother said to the only other body in the room.

"Sure Helen, what's up?" He said, grabbing a bowl and pouring some cereal in it, eating as always.

"I really want to thank you, for watching out for Clare. She's just been so distant from me lately. And her father. She doesn't talk to anyone anymore, or at least she hasn't been. The only person she talks to because she wants to, is you and I don't know what would have happened if you weren't here. She'd probably just never speak." My mother said, a slight quiver in her voice. Taking a sharp inhale and slowly letting it out, I bit my lip.

"I think you're wrong, Helen. Clare's a strong girl. She doesn't always like being around others or talking to others, but she knows what she's doing. She's still finding her place in the world and I think she'll slowly come around." Jake said, offering my mother a smile, leaning in and putting his hand around hers.

"I hope so." My mother said with a slight break in her voice that she covered up with a cough. "Well, we've got almost all the unpacking done."

Looking up at the ceiling, I walked up the stairs quietly and let myself into the bathtub fully clothe.

I was hurting on the inside about the whole thing, I never thought about how my mother felt. I was a terrible daughter, and my mother was suffering because of it.

And for the first time in a long time, I sat in the bathtub and just cried.

* * *

**A/N** : Err, so yeah. Clare and her mom just have relationship problems and what not. I really am sorry for the crappy ending. I want to thank all the recent reviewers and followers! Thanks a lot.

Dropping a review would be awesome and appreciated, mostly because my birthday is tomorrow! 8.03. I'm hyped! I'll try to get an update out either tomorrow or the day after too by the way! So thanks for joining us!

As always, I want to thank my lovely Beta-In-Training Sidney!


	4. Thing Called Love

Thing Called Love

**A/N**: Ayo! I'm back and had a wonderful birthday weekend! Thanks for the wishes! 17, woop woop. XD Well, on with the chapter!

* * *

Walking down the hallways with my headphones in, blasting music, I didn't pay much attention to where I was going. Then again, I almost never did when I had a book in my hands. Just because my headphones were on, I didn't really make an acception.

It was a free period for juniors today because of a junior college assembly, so we were dismissed twenty minutes into the period to do as we pleased. Degrassi was so different from my old school.

Seeing as how Jake was a senior, I couldn't find him and spend my time with him, and I couldn't pinpoint Adam—or rather I wasn't used to having friends so I wouldn't even know what to say to him.

Stopping momentarily, I narrowed my eyes and sighed. Starting back at the top of the page after realizing I had only been letting my eyes pass the words, I started walking again.

Well, I would have had I not ran into someone and lost my balance, falling backwards and landing on the floor. Groaning as my book fell and shut itself, I looked up and pulled my headphones out.

Biting my lip, I looked at a girl I had not seen at Degrassi yet, but then again I haven't seen 99 percent of these people. Standing up and picking up my book I looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." I said thoughtfully as I ducked my head a bit to lay low out of the others gaze.

"God! Why can't you watch where you're going? You're such a hazard, new girl. What would you have done if I had fallen and hurt myself?" The other taller girl said, earning a yell of 'yeah' from her friends.

What would I have done? The exact same thing as I had already done. I would have apologized, maybe helped her up and took her to the nurse, if I knew where that was. Looking to the side at my own thought, I looked up at the other and bit my lip.

"Well? What are you? Slow or something?" The girl said with a snide look on her face. Biting my lip harder from preventing me from letting it fall open I gave her a half look of disbelief.

"I don't care what you think I am, but I'm not slow. And no offense, but its girls like you who give other girls a bad reputation. I apologized, no one got hurt, and since I was the one that fell, you shouldn't have a thing to worry about." Letting out a half laugh, I shook my head at her. "And if I had been slow, that would have been more offensive than it was."

"Who are you to talk to me like that?" The other girl half shrieked, before she let her face turn red with anger.

"I think she's the girl who just told you off." Jenna said, walking up to my left side crossing her arms.

"I think this is where you pick up the last piece of your pride and walk away." Alli said walking up to us, and she waved her hand telling the others to go away.

Clenching her teeth and fists, the other girl turned on her heel and walked away, friends following behind like little ducks.

"Girls, I swear if I wasn't one, I'd hate being around them all the time." Jenna said.

"Jenna, you barely hang out with girls as it is." Alli said, rolling her eyes.

"So Clare you know, for someone who doesn't care so much about others opinion on you, you really hate offending other people. What's with that?" Jenna asked, looking at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, rolling my headphones around my iPod, glancing up at her with a half-smile.

"Right, well I guess you'll figure it out." Jenna said, shrugging, slinging an arm around me she pulled me over to a clear glass enclosure which actually was outside.

"This is The Fishbowl. People eat in here now and then. I like the fresh air so we come here often." Alli said, sitting down at the base of a tree that was planted in the middle of it. Not caring about the other people that were inside the little secluded area, I took a seat next to Alli.

"So Clare, tell us about yourself." Jenna smiled, sitting down in front of me, taking an apple out of her backpack to snack on.

"Uh, my mom just remarried and we just moved here." I said, not really knowing what else to say. Laughing, Alli looked at me.

"That's not really what we meant. Let's see. I like science, as odd as that seems. I like make up and generally girly stuff. I have a boyfriend named Dave Turner." Placing a finger in her glossy lips, she thought for a moment. "I also really hate math."

"Oh. I uh, I like to read. I've never had a boyfriend before. Never even kissed a boy. I'm not the most social person in the world. Uh, I like vintage stuff too, I guess." Shrugging, I pulled my legs into my chest. I really wasn't good at the whole, tell me about yourself stuff. Maybe it had something to do with the fact I'd never been put in a situation where I had to actually get to know people.

"I like music. I play the guitar and sing. I have a boyfriend too. His name is KC. I'm on the Power Squad, and I like to mix weird food together. But I swear, I'm not pregnant. I got tested a few months ago because I thought I was." Jenna said, offering me a small smile. Letting out a small laugh, I thought these two were an odd bunch.

"Normally cheerleaders don't like people like me. They mostly think I dress bad because I like vintage dresses, and that I'm weird because I don't talk to people often." I said, shrugging.

"Here at Degrassi, you will find the oddest friends really. We're all kind of like this big family that even when we fight, in the end we always come together." Jenna shrugged. "But that's just my experience from last year."

"She was the last new girl." Alli stated, "But everything that she said is true. Here at Degrassi, you will find tons of drama, but you will also find friends that'll last for as good as ever."

"Good to know." I said as we heard the bell ring before we went our separate ways. Life at Degrassi was already looking up. Maybe I could get used to it here.

* * *

Taking my seat in English class, I looked up and smiled at Adam as he walked through the doors. Offering a small wave, and getting one in return, my smile soon faltered. Why? Because that's when he walked in, what was he doing here? He couldn't have this class with us, he was here yesterday, but not _here_. Not in this class room, so why was he here now?

Biting my lip, I looked up at him as he walked up to my desk. Giving me a small smile and then looking at Adam, he took the seat in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a low whisper, leaning towards him.

"Wow, you seem so happy to see me, Clare." Eli said, turning back to look at me. Giving him a look, he rolled his eyes and turned back around.

"You know that's not what I mean." I said, resting my head on my hand.

"I was here before you, you know?" Eli said, tapping his pen on the paper in front of him. "I think the real question is what are _you _doing here?"

"She's the other junior in Advanced English." Adam offered, looking at him. He gave me a slight shrug.

"_No way_. I would have never pegged you as the English type." I could practically hear him rolling his eyes as he wrote down the few notes that were going up on the board.

"Nope. Me either, these books are just for show. I guess you found out my secret." I said following in suit and taking my own notes.

"Yeah, girls like you don't just walk into book stores and buy books like Jane Eyre. They buy racy romance novels like, I don't know Twilight." Eli said, giving me a slight shrug. Making a sound of offense, I poked his neck with my pen.

"Twilight is not that bad." I said. Eli and Adam looked at each other, mouthing something I couldn't quite catch.

"You two suck." I said as I rolled my eyes and stared at Ms. Dawes as she taught the class more English. Honestly, I didn't feel like paying attention, and at my old school I would probably just be reading the material. "Anyways you were here yesterday. Did you skip? You seem like the type."

"Judgmental much?" Eli said with slight disbelief in his voice. Tilting my head and sighing, that was so not what I meant. "I was actually taken out by my dad. We had to go see my therapist." He said sparking my interest. But before I could say anything the bell went off.

Standing up and grabbing my things, I locked eyes with Eli. "Therapist?" I questioned.

"I'm bipolar. Found out it last year. Let's just say last year wasn't my best performance." Eli said, shrugging slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"That makes two of us." I said, walking out with the Adam and Eli and going off to my next class. "But hey, at least things are better now? Right?" I called out to Eli as he walked away. Waving a hand at me, he walked off.

"You so like him." Adam said, looking over to him letting my mouth hang slightly I shook my head in disbelief.

"I've known him a total of maybe three days." I said shaking my head. "Three days is so not enough."

"Call it, love at first quarrel." Adam teased as we walked to our next class.

"You're mental. Why am I even talking to you right now?" I asked, pulling my book that I always carried closer to my chest.

"Am not. I just know how to read people." Adam said, shrugging as he walked backwards. "And I just happen to believe in a thing called love."

"Just listen to the rhythm of my heart. I am not in love, or like with Eli. I barely even like you." I said ,crossing my arm as I watched him walk, making sure he didn't walk into anyone.

"Ouch. I'm hurt, Clare." He said, grabbing his chest dramatically as he turned on his heel and walked into the class room.

* * *

"So, I'll pick you up in say, an hour or so?" Jake asked as I got out of his car that was parked in front of "Berns and Son's Books". Shaking my head, I closed the door.

"Take your time; I'll be fine in there." I said, leaning into the window of the pickup.

"I'm sure you will, with Mister Mysteriously Fabulous and all." Jake teased as he smiled at me from the driver's seat.

"Not true. There are a million authors in there I'm sure are waiting for me to read their work." I said, giving him a look. Laughing he waved me off and drove away. Turing, I checked my dress' pockets for my phone and wallet. I hated carrying bags, I always tended to forget them, so I made sure almost everything I bought had pockets on it.

Walking into the store after making sure I had everything I needed, I looked at the little clock. Six pm. Not too late, not too early. I'd be home in time for dinner if Jake were to actually pick me up in an hour.

"Welcome!" a voice called from under the checkout desk. Smiling I walked up to it and stood on my tip toes to see if I could look under.

"I see you're keeping busy." I said as I watched Eli pop up with a box of unopened books in his hands. Giving me his infamous half smirk, he placed the box down and opened it.

"What are you doing here, Edwards?" He asked as he peeled the tape off the box and threw it out. Opening the box, a strong wave of fresh new parchment hit us. Smiling, I leaned forward and sighed.

"Like the smell of new books?" Eli asked, snickering lightly at my reaction. Composing myself, I gave him a look.

"I do, nothing wrong with that." I defended myself.

"There isn't. I quite like the smell myself." Eli shrugged, taking the books in his hands and placing them where they should be. Watching him intently, I didn't say much. I just watched him work. He was an odd person. He was like the cross between a mystery and horror novel. Neither were really my style to be honest, but literature was literature—and if it was good, I'd read it.

"Oh, Clare! Lovely to see you again." Mr. Berns said as he walked out of the back room where he normally spent his time, offering me a small smile.

"It's good to see you too Mr. Berns." I said, solicitously offering a small smile of my own. Thoughtfully he walked up to me and offered me a small nod.

"You're not here to ask for a job too? I'm at my wits end with Eli as it is." Mr. Berns asked me, giving a stern look and a small finger wag. Laughing as I let my smile grow, I heard Eli offer the other a groan in response to his teasing, as I shook my head.

"No, more like I'm here to give you my money for your fine books, sir." I said, holding my hands up in defense. "I just haven't found the one I want to buy yet. That and I'm killing time."

"Hey Clare, can I see your wrist?" Eli asked as I raised an eyebrow. "I want to see the time, gosh."

"Oh." Raising my wrist so he could see my watch, he walked up to it and gave it a light karate chop.

"There, it's dead." He smiled and walked off to keep doing his work. Laughing, I shook my head at him.

"If only you could karate chop all your problems away." I said, shaking my head I went to go look through the paperbacks.

"You could always write them away you know, writing take a lot of time." Eli said, taking a seat behind the checkout desk, tapping his fingers gently.

"I'm not much of a writer." I admitted. I had dabbled in it before, but I never found it worthy of being read. "Just essays and stuff, I'm okay with them."

"I'm sure that's not true." Eli said, leaning back in his seat, looking like he was about to fall. Giving him a look, I picked out a book that called to me and placed it on the counter.

"No, trust me. Most of my personal writing is garbage. I'm more of an objective person." I shrugged.

"No one's completely objective Clare." Eli said, ringing the book up.

"Maybe not. But I try to be." I said, taking the book as I paid for it, leaning forward a bit.

"Why is it that you never let anyone know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours? You're sarcastic, you're witty, but right when you're about to share an opinion, you normally just stop yourself. You know, other than when you're being judgmental." Eli said, leaning towards me on his end.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I do share my opinion, and I am not judgmental." I said, biting my lip.

"Okay, I get the judgmental thing, but why are you so afraid of letting people know what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" Eli asked, tilting his head.

"You think I have a beautiful mind?" I asked almost shyly as I chewed on my lower lip slightly.

"When you're being witty and sarcastic, but when you're being bland and boring, not so much. You're different from the people that are from around here. Why not show it?" Eli asked, locking his emerald gaze with my cyan one.

"I-uh, nothing. I just don't like showing people how 'different' I am I guess. But I really don't care that much about what people think of me." I said.

"Bullshit. Everyone cares, Clare. That's why you don't show everyone who you are. You leave them guessing and you don't define yourself. That makes you different. You're like one big mystery novel and everyone's trying to piece you together. Or, at least, that's what I think." Eli said, offering me a genuine smile as he kept his head tilted. "Anyways, what's so bad about being different?"

"There isn't really anything bad about it per-say." But before I could say anything else I looked up at the time and my mouth dropped. It was almost eight. I was late for dinner and Jake didn't pick me up. Letting my mouth fall open slightly, I seethed and dug my hand in my pocket.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked as I fumed slightly, holding up a finger as I pushed speed dial three, I waited for the dial tone and then finally.

"Hello?" I head Jake pipe on the other line.

"Yeah, hello. Where _are_ you?" I asked in a slight rage. I could hear Jake swallow on the other side of the phone.

"Clare. Oh my god. I totally forgot. I'll come get you now." Jake said, but before he could actually make sounds to say he was getting up someone else grabbed the phone.

"Clare? Sweetie is that you? Where are you, why aren't you home?" My mother asked from the other side. Sighing, I looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm still at the book store. Jake was supposed to pick me up an hour ago." I said, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Well, he can't come get you now, we just said grace. We're eating." My mother said.

"Then how am I supposed to get home? I don't know how to get there walking yet." I said, maybe having Jake take me everywhere wasn't so smart anymore.

"I guess you'll have to find a way. Your phone has navigation right?" my mother asked from the other line. Shaking my head , I could not believe what she was saying right now.

"Yes, okay mom. Let your sixteen year old daughter walk home by herself at night when she doesn't know where she's going. What kind of mother are you?" I asked, biting my inner cheek, I really didn't get her. Sometimes she wanted to be responsible like a mother and other times she just didn't care. Letting the silence stay for only a moment longer, I hung up the phone. I didn't have the mentality to listen to her anymore.

"What's up, buttercup?" Eli asked curiously, drumming his fingers on the desk.

"My stepbrother forgot to pick me up and my mother told me to walk home. I really don't know who she is anymore." I said, sighing, grabbing my bag, I offered him a smile. "Guess I should venture off. Just remember, if I don't come to school tomorrow, I probably got kidnapped."

"Why don't you just drive her home, Eli?" Mr. Berns said; I almost forgot he was still here. "I can close by myself tonight."

"Are you sure?" Eli asked, earning a nod from Mr. Berns. Grabbing his leather jacket, he pushed me out of the book store.

"You really don't have to take me home. I'll walk." I said, as he pushed me towards his car.

"No, don't worry about it. I'd rather you not get lost." Eli said as we stopped in front of a hearse he unlocked.

"You do not own this car." I said, looking at it in disbelief.

"I do. It was my grandpa's. He owned a funeral home. It makes me feel close to him. Clare, meet Morty." Eli said, offering a small laugh of skepticism as I took a seat. "Anyways, I wouldn't want a friend to get lost. Address?"

"We're not friends." I said rolling my eyes as I told him how to get to my house.

"Wow, that hurt. Then what am I to you?" Eli asked curiously looking at me from as he drove.

"Look at the road!" I yelped, grabbing the handle above the window. "I guess you're an acquaintance."

"You've know me longer than Adam, but you consider him a friend." Eli said, as he kept driving.

"Well, I don't know. We clicked." I shrugged, pulling the book that was wrapped away closer to my chest.

"And—we didn't?" Eli asked with a small frown on his face.

"That's not it. I don't know. It's complicated." I frowned in suit. I didn't really understand the whole friendship thing. It really couldn't be this easy to make friends.

"It's really not. Friends is just a title you share with a person you enjoy spending your time with." Eli said as he pulled up a little while later.

"I- I guess I don't mind spending time with you, or Adam, or Alli or even Jenna." I said looking down at my lap.

"Then I guess we're your friends. You know, opening up isn't a bad thing." Eli said, looking at me with intent.

"Not if you get hurt." I said quietly, unbuckling and getting out of the car before he could say anything else. "Thanks for the ride Eli."

"No problem. I'll see you at school." He smiled back at me before he drove off.

Things were already getting more complicated than I originally planned.

* * *

**A/N:** That's all for now folks! I hope you like the longer update after the almost week without one! Well, enjoy!

Comments, question, concerns are always appreciated and review feeds my hungry, hungry stomach!

And, as always, thank you my Beta-In-Training Siddy!


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